May 2013
Me with romantic interest: Hi, how've you been lately? How's that project you're working on? Yeah? I'd love to see sometime, dude! How's the family? Good, good. Well, I'll talk to you later! Yeah we definitely need to hang out more often. Hopefully see you soon! :)
Me with platonic friend: YOU GORGEOUS CREATURE HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE LAST I SAW YOU? HOW I'VE MISSED YOUR LUCID DIAMOND EYES, UGH I JUST WANT TO KISS YOU AND MAKE SWEET, SWEET LOVE UNDER THE MOONLIGHT. WHY ARE YOU SO PERFECTLY SCULPTED, ARE YOU AN ANGEL MADE OF MARBLE LET'S GET MARRIED.
geometricdeathtrap:
metallikato:
generallegendary:
metallikato:
jewelstaites:
how to give a good handjob
bop it
pull it
twist it
harder
better
faster
stronger
You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about!
Cha cha real smooth
none of you ever touch a penis
damnafricawhathappened:
I used to be so much skinnier in 2010 what the hell happened? but then again I had terrible style back then so….
miss-grace:
Are you ever just overwhelmed by the horrifying thought that maybe, nobody ACTUALLY wants you around? And it’s not that you think everyone hates you, but it’s just that you’re not special to anyone? And that its really kind of sucky that you’re about 98% sure that nobody thinks “Wow, I just really like talking to her.” and that you could probably just disappear without anyone caring...
thorhead:
thorhead:
I wonder if the young girls playing on the trampoline next door know that
I can see them
I can hear them singing You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray
they are really bad singers and
I can probably get a YouTube-worthy video of them from my current position
gUYS I PUT ON MY COUSINS HOCKEY MASK AND STOOD AT THE WINDOW AND YELLED “STOP YOUR INFERNAL SINGSONG I’M TRYING...
Beethoven: ARE YOU READY TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES?!
Audience: *cheers*
Beethoven: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
Spongebob: "What if I break your trust someday?"
Patrick: "Trusting you is my decision, proving me wrong is your choice."
what doesn’t kill you
leaves scars
ruins your lungs
dries out all your tears...
– c.c. (via perfect)
Do not settle for less than exactly what you want. Your heart’s desires are...
– Franki Durbin (via perfect)